Friday, May 18, 2012

[Freya-dæg] Handling One of the Worst -- Manos: The Hands of Fate

Plot Summary
The Good
The Bad
Judgment
Closing

{No B horror movie is complete without a picture of Frank Zappa during his experimental mustaches phase. This image is a self-made screen grab.}


There is a handful of movies that are truly and absolutely terrible movies, but Manos: The Hands of Fate definitely puts up a good fight for the title of worst. Nonetheless, this blog’s not about reviewing things only on reputation, or even on the general common sense that guides most other reviewers. No, sir (or ma’am). So, let’s just get right to this piece of American cinema history and see what good we can find in it.

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Plot Summary

This plot summary contains spoilers. You have been warned.

Mike (Harold P. Warren), Margaret (Diane Mahree), and their daughter Debbie (Jackey Neyman) are driving through the desert of Texas on their way to a fabulous summer home vacation. However, they get lost and instead wind up at a creepy old house watched over by a hunched up man named Torgo (John Reynolds). After some convincing Torgo allows the family to stay the night even though Torgo fears that it will displease his Master (Tom Neyman).

Strange things start happening to the family in the house, and eventually it is revealed that The Master is the leader of a cult that sacrifices hapless men that stumble onto the house and that takes the women that come to the house as his wives.

The family makes a daring attempt at escape, but will it be enough to break free from...Manos: The Hands of Fate?

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The Good

In spite of this movie’s reputation, it’s low production values (if you ever graphically represented them, you might have to answer to some angry mole people), and its amateurish cast and crew, there are some things that shine through.

The character of Torgo is a strangely intriguing one. Perhaps this is because he is the one character who’s given the most story. It isn’t a complex one, but it’s much more background information than we’re given for any other character. Simply put, Torgo is upset with The Master for leaving him out of the wife acquisition game. Torgo’s lusting after a woman is made more poigniant by the factoid that he was originally supposed to be a satyr (according to Wikipedia).

Further, the conflict between Torgo and The Master is the most interesting one in the movie because it can be related to (we’ve all had bosses that we feel mistreat/don’t appreciate us), and because they're the two most competent male actors in this movie.

Now, as a B horror movie it’s a backhanded compliment, but this movie also has some moments that are just so bad they’re funny. Frank Zappa was charmed by the cheesiness of 1950s monster movies, and Manos is definitely a nod in this direction, intentionally or otherwise. In either case, you're likely to bust a gut watching this one, maybe even two if you watch the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 riff track version of the movie.

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The Bad

As hinted at above, this is a movie filled with amateurs. Of course, according to Wikipedia that’s exactly who was behind this movie from its conception through to its handful-of-theatres release. Warren directed on a bet, wrote it, and hired locals from a modelling agency to fill parts. He filmed it on a wind-up 16mm Bell-Howell camera that could only record video or audio and just for 30-32 seconds at a time. All of these factors, and possibly more (Hotel Torgo might enlighten further) work together to make this an all around bad movie.

It’s dully written and has some stilted dialogue that’s delivered so monotonously you’ll wonder just how desperate the Emerson Releasing Corporation was as its first distributor.

It has terrible cinematography that is limited to two shots: a tight zoom on speakers (and even those that are just supposed to be looked at in certain scenes), and a wider shot that shows the actors in the same way that they’d be viewed from the front row of a playhouse. The camera itself is of poor quality, and artificial lighting is virtually non-existent.

But, most egregious of all of its faults, is that its story is so disjointed and poorly told as a tale of terror. Instead of blending the story of the family on vacation, the kooky cult, a pair of constantly necking teenagers, and the cops that try to nab those crazy kids each story is off on it’s own and the only connection appears to be coincidence - not fate.


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Judgment

So, Manos, the hands of fate. There’s menace in Torgo’s performance, and in The Master, but there’s so little background provided.

Why does the cult of Manos perform human sacrifice? What are the powers that one of The Master’s wives is constantly on about? Why are these powers supposedly weakening? How is it that this house is hidden from the rest of the world, or, why does everything think the road leading to it ‘goes nowhere’? Why would a family want to vacation in the desert?

You need to assume so much just to be terrified, and the terrifying shots are held for far too long.

Terror and horror are based on the unknown. Something that we’re supposed to be afraid of needs to be on the edge of our knowledge or understanding either because it’s so bizarre (think David Lynch) or because it’s obscured (literally or by other elements of the story/setting/characters/description) but still just barely visible. So much of the horror genre relies on our own imaginations, and giving no information at all is just as bad as giving too much.

That said, if you ever have a spare hour and eight minutes and are looking for some laughs, or if you have a strange drive to find out what a 1960s insurance and fertilizer salesman thought was scary, then watch this movie. If you want to be a film critic or even just a casual reviewer, watch this movie. It’s a bad movie in every respect, and that’s exactly why you should watch it. It is a great movie to use as a “zero position” for any ratings scale.

So, Freya, grab this one and bring it up to the hallowed halls. For even a place of eternal battle populated with the worthy needs to have a jester in attendance - and on that note, make sure that The Master’s robe isn’t damaged, he might not be fated to find another one like it.

{Dat robe! Image from The Enemy Below.}


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Closing

Come back next week for a new take on the four part series of the past, an article on the newest news, and a hunt for the good in the 2011 remake of The Three Musketeers.

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