[Freya-dæg] Shocktober Pt.4: The unconventional arc of The Convent

{The Convent's movie poster, found on IMDb.}

Introduction
Plot Summary
The Good
The Bad
Judgment
Closing

Introduction

In today's entry, we take a look at the Mike Mendez' horror flick, The Convent. With its low budget effects and costumes, it's a great film for the end of October (and Part 4 of Shocktober) since the best Halloween costumes are often made on a budget.

So, let's see if the same is true of B-Horror movies, as we settle into weighing the good and the bad of this flick,

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Plot Summary

In the middle of the 20th century, a convent of nuns ran a school - until one of the students went mad and slaughtered them all before setting the place aflame.

Come 2006, it's tradition for the local universities' sororities and fraternities to try to paint their letters on the old convent's bell tower. Clarissa's troop of newly minted preppy friends is new exception, and everything is going great for her until an old friend from a past she'd rather forget asks to go with them to the old, burned out convent.

In the end, Clarissa's old friend Mo (Megahn Perry) comes with them, and they all wander through the convent. However, instead of finding the bell-tower, they find Satanists who are trying to bring forth the devil himself. Instead, chaos is brought into the old hilltop religious building - unleashing a demonic deluge that surely no-one will survive.

Clarissa and her friends are about to find out that no matter how hard you pray, you're damned when you enter The Convent!

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The Good

This movie wastes no time whatsoever setting things up or putting things in motion.

The opening scene gives us one perspective of the urban myth about the titular convent, and from there we're immediately introduced to Clarissa's trying to gel with a new set of friends. This quick and dirty introduction is appreciated, because it gives the movie a great deal of room to expand things - maybe introduce competing perspectives on what happened in the convent, or really get into why Clarissa is looking for new friends when the old ones still seem to be around. But more on that later.

After this quick introduction things move along at a steady clip. The spooky convent and the woman responsible for the shooting at it are visited, and a great deal of tension is built up around the old burned out building. There's also quite a bit of humour and self awareness involved in these first tens of minutes. Some examples are:

{A black cop who delivers the mad analogy: "I'm gonna lock yo ass up so tight, they gon' have to have a combination to visit yo' nuts...white boy."}

{The group's blonde complaining about how a criminal record isn't: going to look good on my application to fashion school."}

And, without pictures, an exchange between the group's men that ends with the conclusion that they need to go back for the druggie's stash; plus a brief and direct Scooby Doo reference.

All of this humour and self-awareness make the movie feel like it's getting to something, like it's really on its way to telliing a horrific story that plays with the audience's expectations.

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The Bad

However, The Convent never gets that far.

After the movie's introductory moments are gone, they're never revisited. Instead, we're left with two thirds that could double as a Benny Hill sketch with just a little bit of redubbing.

Now, this shift to true b-movie stuff wouldn't be so bad if the start of the movie hadn't been so promising.

If the movie opened with cheesy lines and demons trying to convert the living, then that's being the focus of the last two thirds wouldn't be an issue. What's worse though, is that once the movie's big bad demons appear it becomes terribly uneven.

One minute, we're skulking about the convent with one of the gang, trying to find the others, the next we see the demons traipsing about and doing whatever it is that demons do in this movie (their workings/weaknesses being explained not being one of these things).

By the time the final scenes of the movie show us some genuine b-movie badassery, things have been too incoherent for anyone other than the most diehard of horror fans to have lost interest and dismissed this movie as nothing more than a disappointment.

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Judgment

The Convent is simply a letdown. It's a movie that clocks in at just slightly over an hour, and opens with such snap and self-confident ease. But that confidence erodes by the time the demons appear.

However, the erosion of a movie's confidence and atmosphere is one thing, frustrating an audience's expectations only to later follow some of the laziest horror tropes is the mark of nothing more than a bad movie.

There's really no other way to say it. If it had gone all out on its tropes or been as original as possible within the limits of its story, then it could have been a great bit of entertainment like Leprechaun in the Hood, or a neatly layered horror tale as was Silent House.

So, Freya, there's no need to skim the stinking Field of Fallen Films for the sake of The Convent. Let it be where it lay, and may its name be reluctantly whispered even among midnight cauldron stirrers.

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Closing

Check back here tomorrow for Annotated Links #23, a collection of five links that share some common thread and that are also pretty cool!

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[Freya-dæg] Shocktober Pt.2: Is Leprechaun in the Hood any Good?

{Leprechaun in the Hood's movie poster, found on Wikipedia.}

Introduction
Plot Summary
The Good
The Bad
Judgment
Closing

Introduction

Welcome to Part Two of Shocktober - a look into the litanous Leprechaun series. Specifically, as requested, this week's review is a foray into the fifth movie in the Leprechaun franchise: Leprechaun in the Hood.

Interestingly enough, after four previous movies, this one's picked up the label of "comedy" as well as "horror," so let's just see how this freestyle film fares.

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Plot Summary

It's the 1970s and the man who will soon be known as "Mack Daddy" O'Nassas (Ice T) strikes it rich when he finds a stash of gold and an ugly statue of a leprechaun. He learns the secret of the two, and uses a magic flute found in the leprechaun's (Warwick Davis) gold to drive himself to fame and fortune.

Flash forward 20 years. The rap trio of Postmaster P. (Anthony Montgomery), Stray Bullet (Rashaan Nall), and Butch (Red Grant), are trying to get on the hip hop scene but just aren't that great. Down on their luck, and looking for some quick promotion to earn money they need to repair their equipment, they turn to rap mogul Mack Daddy.

But Mack Daddy's help will come at a cost: the trio will have to change their entire image! The trio's de facto leader Postmaster P. objects, and they're thrown out. Having no other alternative, the three plan to steal the medallion they saw hanging on a grotesque leprechaun statue in Mack Daddy's office.

Their heist is a success, but when they remove the medallion, the leprechaun comes back to life and begins hunting down everyone the trio's pawned his gold to. On top of that, Mack Daddy starts after them as well to get back the flute that they stole - the very source of his fame and fortune.

Will the trio figure out how to use the flute to cause their own meteoric rise to stardom? Will Mack Daddy catch up with them and bust a cap in each of their asses? Or will the leprechaun succeed in stealing back his gold as he leaves a trail of bodies in his wake?

The only thing that's sure is that nothing can be good when there's a Leprechaun in the Hood!

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The Good

First off, because this is a Leprechaun movie, it's an Irish exploitation movie to some degree. Add in the hood, and you get a modern blackspoitation film. Take them both together, and we get a heaping helping of rhyming lines. And any form of entertainment with rhyming couplets is as good as a cellar full of fine wines.

Additionally, we're treated to turns of phrase like this one:

{"Kinda like Robin Hood, 'stead we gonna be robbin' in the hood."}

Further, we get to see Ice T show off his acting chops. For example, we see him reacting to his friend's death:

We also see him scrounging around his afro for another weapon:

And, we see him (for much of the movie) acting pretty full of himself:

It's not an Oscar-worthy performance, but it ups the comedy and campiness of the movie. These things are important ingredients for its potency because they really help to carry it along. After all, being the fifth in the series, it can't really be expected to be as terrifying as the last four movies. So, instead it goes for the base comedy so often found in B-movies. As a result, this movie's like a bag of popcorn: you take one handful and then by the time you actually check to see how much is left in the bag, you find it empty.

Beyond the movie's B-qualities, it has some surprisingly dark moments. These are both major plot points, but definitely work well both to bolster the movie's characters and to buttress its comedy and campiness by adding some variety.

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The Bad

However, it can also be said that the movie's darker moments are there to make up for its lack of a "horror" element in general.

Leprechaun in the Hood follows the formula of a slasher or serial killer movie well enough (one person or entity is out to kill a group of people or an individual), but we're told right off the bat why the leprechaun goes after who he goes after. Because we know that whoever has the leprechaun's gold is going to buy the farm, the movie musters very little tension.

It doesn't help matters that the movie's titular villain isn't very menacing either. He's definitely brutal in the pursuit of those who have his gold, but otherwise he's as comedic a character as Ice T.

The other issue with the movie is that it doesn't really answer many of the questions it raises. Questions like: how did Mack Daddy know enough about the flute to only be interested in it when he first comes across the leprechaun's gold? Why is the flute's power selective in certain scenes? And how does the leprechaun manage to escape and hypnotize someone at the end?

Why all of these things happen is clear (convenience, convenience, and to leave it open for the next one), but the "how" is just as important because without that the movie loses its depth.

Explaining how the leprechaun's magic (and magic in general in the movie work) would add such depth, and help to build more tension as audiences tried to figure out the leprechaun's weak point for themselves based on what we're told. Instead, we're told nothing, and the movie becomes just a bit of light entertainment.

However, the worst part of the film is that the leprechaun isn't even really the main focus - instead, it's "The Hood." Since both things are in the title, both should share the spotlight, but the leprechaun is used as little more than a plot device.

He spouts off some dope rhyming couplets, makes cheerful threats, and then follows through with them. But he's really just the impetus for events, he never really gets into them. For example, the whole conflict between the rap trio and Mack Daddy barely involves him at all - he's just a third party that sometimes interferes with either side's plan.

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Judgment

Leprechaun in the Hood is an light romp that mixes comedy, camp, and exploitation style film into one entertaining blend. But if you're looking for substance, you've got to go with an earlier Leprechaun movie, or an older horror film. This one's as substantial as blown smoke.

That said though, Leprechaun in the Hood is well-paced, and it does offer some rather surprisng twists near the end.

So, Freya, dust this one off, and lift it up (but be sure to set it along the lower seats of Filmhalla).

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Closing

Check back here tomorrow for Annotated Links #21!

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[Moon-dæg] Some Lines about Laity?

Context
Child in a Church
Closing

{The sort of chancel that a child might run up to. Image found on chancel.org.uk.}

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Context

A poem that was written a few months ago, and that is based on some lines that came my way one day.

I can't say what, if anything, directly influenced this poem, but I had the image of a child walking up to the front of a church and just let a pen finish the thought. Maybe it's got deep resonances with modern day religious situations, or maybe it's just a configuration of words that sound pleasant together - after you read it, leave a comment to let me know what you think!

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Child in a Church

There is a child in a church
Raising and felling eye-sized feet
To claim further carpeted ground.
Before the front pew now,
An edge more shear than a fall from grace.

She turns back to titter and gibber at
Parents seated
Where only she can see.
Then back to the front and further stalking
But no more footfalls.

Giggles
As unlined hands grasp without cross
to reach the wooden table
From which her sight
Slips to the smithed cupboard lock
set as high as her apartment.

No man in any dress all of one colour to stop her,
She clamours to the ground floor of that ceiling scraper,
But begins to cry when no doorman smiles the wooden entrance open.

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Closing

Check back here on Friday for a search for what's truly scary in Leprechaun in the Hood, and on Saturday for Annotated Links #21!

In the meantime, head over to Tongues in Jars for my dead language translation posts on Tuesday and Thursday.

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[Sæternes-dæg] Annotated Links #20: Bending Borders

1. Koh, Yoree. "Novelist Murakami Weighs In on Japan Territorial Rows." Japan Real Time (The Wall Street Journal) 28 September 2012. Web. 06 October 2012.

Koh recaps Haruki Murakami's stance on Japan's current territorial disputes as they appeared in an essay that made the front page of the Asahi Shimbun. Murakami argues that these territorial disputes are threatening the cultural ties that the three Asian countries have established over recent decades, and that they're "like getting drunk on cheap sake." This article is written in a plain, direct style.

Haruki Murakami is an amazing writer, and the matter of Japanese-South Korean-Chinese territorial disputes is one of interest since I recall how passionate many South Koreans were about their owning Dokdo (Takeshima, in Japan), so inlcuding this article was a must.

2. Stusinski, Melissa. "‘Looper’-Like Time Travel Possible, Scientists Say." The Inquisitr 28 September 2012. Web. 06 October 2012.

A misleadingly titled article that suggests that time travel to the future is possible, while time travel to the past is much more problematic. This one is written in a very conversational style that makes it seem like a token blog entry.

Despite its brevity, this article is included because it is a solid summary of time travel mechanics.

3. Tozer, Jessica L.. "Sensors on Scan." Armed With Science 2 October 2012. Web. 06 October 2012.

Dr. Chris Field at the Naval Research Laboratory is currently working on technology that does just what Star Trek's tricorder does - scan an area for any and all vapours it contains. Various applications for this quarter-sized technology are discussed, ranging from carbon monoxide detection to airport security applications. Tozer writes in an informal style.

Anything about such amazing science simply has to be included. It's practically the law.

4. Oh, Young-Jin. "Coming out on Psy." The Korea Times 2 October 2012. Web. 06 October 2012.

This one offers a thought-provoking look at the Psy phenomenon from the perspective of someone who thinks that Psy represents nothing Korean. In it Oh relates his thoughts on Psy and how they've evolved to his current stance that Psy represents more of global pop culture than Korean pop culture. It is written in a prim, yet conversational style.

Because of the wild popularity of Psy, this one had to be included to offer a counter-argument to his apparent bolstering of the Korean cultural wave that's supposedly swept over the world in recent weeks.

5.Clayton, Nick. "Scientists Look to Use Bee’s Brains to Control Flying Robots." Tech Europe (The Wall Street Journal) 4 October 2012. Web. 6 October 2012.

Researchers at the universities of Sheffield and Sussex are looking into using bee brains to power flying recon robots. Among the uses for these robots, the article focuses on their being used to gather information to help rescue teams figure out what the next best option is. It is a short article, written in a plain style.

This one's included because it's some exciting news from the world of robotics, and it's not often that social insects are thought of as being as useful to science as social mammals.


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Closing

Next week, watch for another (much more recent) poem on Monday, and a prowl for the palatable in Leprechaun In The Hood on Friday!

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